“Mercy”, is just a word to the Church

Ask me how dreadfully tired I am about hearing the Catholic Church via bishops and the pope talk about mercy. They have demonstrated that to them, as far as victims of clergy abuse go, it is only a word. Do I believe God is merciful? YES! Do I believe that God’s mercy has been extended to the victims of clergy sexual abuse by the Church? NO I DO NOT!

If I could say it in Spanish so that the pope could understand me, I would tell him; : “Fix the damn problem. Fix the shattered lives of victims. Fix the shattered lives of victims families. Fix the shattered lives of the faithful and stop making a mockery of God’s mercy.  Also stop protecting criminals.” Even in English most of the bishops in the USA do not understand.

The bishops, cardinals and the even the pope are making a mockery of the mercy of God. God will not be mocked. The eschaton, the four last things; death, judgement, heaven, or hell will not go well for these men unless they take this seriously. Empty words are just that empty and the men of the Church need to stop betraying the word mercy by only applying it to each others crimes. They need to use it for abuse victims too.

I’m also sick of one of the reasons for the bishops world-wide being given a justification for this rubbish. No one that I knew in the seminary with me, was actively homosexual or heterosexual. So to find such a thing out now only means that I did not really know them. No one I knew was having sexual relations with teenage boys. If they were I either did not know it or I was too obtuse to see. Either way they would not be who I thought they were or who I thought I knew.

I do not actually know that she said this, but Sharon Stone is given credit for it. Talking about show business it is reported she said, “You can only sleep your way to the middle.” Maybe in the Church you can sleep your way higher than the middle. And maybe that is part of the problem.

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heresy, the pope, abuse crises & cover-up

How can anyone expect the Catholic Church to deal with all the tentacles of abuse and cover-up when we have a pope who is guilty of heresy in the Vatican garden with the odd tree/spirit worship and guilty of daemon worship with the whole Pachamama goddess statues in Roman Catholic Churches? He is either very dim or diabolical himself.

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Bishop Bransfield, Bishop Malone of Buffalo, the Delaware apostate, ex-priest, on the Diocesan Marriage Tribunal, all of the clerical support, including bishops, of the gay agenda which clearly flies in the face of the teaching of Catholicism

There is so much going on right now; the Bishop Bransfield case in West Virginia, Bishop Richard Malone of Buffalo, NY and the slow collapse of the diocese, the Delaware apostate, ex-priest, on the Diocesan Marriage Tribunal, not to mention all of the clerical support, including bishops, of the gay agenda which clearly flies in the face of the teaching of Catholicism.  One has to ask what is going on? If the good bishops would speak up for God when the bad bishops are spewing heresy, and the week bishops would step up as men of God things might get better.

In the past I did not believe that there were bishops and priests who did not believe in God. Why then choose this life? It is not an easy life. Maybe it is easy if you do not believe.  I do believe, and I do believe that there are some men in the clerical ranks today who do not believe in God.  How could they say that they believe in God and do what they do?  How could they believe in God and promote what they promote? Mr. Theodore McCarrick, obviously, was never really Roman Catholic.  Mr. Theodor McCarrick could not have believed that there would be a final judgment by God…yet he made it to the rank of Cardinal Archbishop.  How?  How many others are there? Will their fall be just as spectacular?  How much more will the truly faithful have to endure?

I constantly tell parishioners to cling to Jesus. I constantly tell myself the same thing.  Sometimes it is a heavy yolk. I’ll take the light yolk any time now God.  But I do have the light of truth. I try to follow the light of truth. God is truth. We need to follow God.


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Priest abuse hitting close to home

In March an allegation was brought forth against a diocese priest of sexual abuse 38 years ago. Another allegation in a different local also came to light. So there are two different investigations in two different jurisdictions. Because the first allegation was 38 years ago I have had at least one person say to me that they do not believe the allegation.  Of course everyone is innocent until proven guilty.  That said I told her that it was 22 years before I came forward.  I did not tell her that circumstances forced me to come forward before I was ready and it was another five years before I was ready to deal with it in therapy.

I really don’t know this priest and I really don’t know how he was as a priest/pastor to congregants or as a boss. That said, 38 years is really not that long when you factor in the shame and stigma of being abused. (I wonder if he was waiting for his parents to die), I have worked with older women who first had abortions in 1973 when it became legal.  They bought into the lie that it was easy and the right thing to do. They kept their shame secret since then.

As someone who has suffered clerical sexual abuse when I was informed by the diocese of this case, all priests were e-mailed, the first thought I had was, this will never end…then I felt sad for the alleged victim, the priest and for me. I try very hard not to get into the, ‘poor me’, mindset and when I realize that I have indeed gone there I try mightily to get out of it. (Even after all this time I get sucked into that destructive mindset.)  That is just one of the things that makes sexual abuse, in fact all abuse, so insidious.  The effects of the abuse are never really gone.

Some of the people that are in the parish of the accused priest are unhappy with the bishop.  They see his actions as throwing this priest under the bus.  What was he supposed to do? He has his own skeletons in the closet, one of them became a Netflix miniseries, not doing anything would be imprudent on his part…just another skeleton to deal with.

And so it goes…another priest accused, if abuse took place, another person scared, another skeleton exposed and more agita for those of us who have struggled with the effects of our own abuse. Around and around and around it goes…

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Keep your mouth shut: advice given by a priest in reference to a predator priest.

First allow me to preface this with a true story. When I was a seminarian studying for the priesthood in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, I reported a priest for inappropriate behavior towards myself and another seminarian. When I took this back to the powers that be at the seminary it was suggested that this was a good time for me to keep my mouth shut. This episode happened before the Attorney General’s Grand Jury Report had been released. Meanwhile the priest that I turned in was outed as the first sexual predator in the archdiocese. He was eventually defrocked, and latter passed away. Was I protected? No. Did anything happen to him after my stepping forward? No. How about me? Well I’m not a priest of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia.

Men and women who keep their heads in the sand like ostriches concerning this issue…well…I can’t think of a nice way to put it. Those men and women are a huge part of the problem, not admitting that presently there is a problem in the Church caused by homosexual predator priests and other priests and bishops covering up for them. I will never forget the words spoken to me that it would be a good time for me to keep my mouth shut. (It was a threat that came to fruition.)

I thank God, (literally), for the ability to keep my faith and pursue my vocation to the priesthood despite numerous setbacks. (I was untouchable to other diocese in the immediate aftermath, even this one.) Five years later Wilmington did accept me.
I am here to tell you that it doesn’t matter how long it takes for a person to come forward after they have been sexually abused by a priest. It doesn’t matter that the priest may be dead. What does matter is the havoc that abusive priests caused in the lives of their victims. What matters is that children and post-pubescent boys who were abused meant nothing to most bishops. Alas, a majority of children and young adults who survived these demon priests have left the Church. A lot of other people have also left because of the hypocrisy of this scandal.

It is lucky that we are blessed by God with the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. That is what we need to cling to. That is what will get us through this.

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Bishops ‘bring sense of urgency’ to Baltimore, REALLY!

Early morning raids on chanceries across the country…allegations that some bishops are not handing over to the authorities ALL the names of perpetrators and alleged perpetrators of sexual abuse…the false notion that any sex with a priest could be consensual despite the disparity in power involved…and lastly…bishops policing themselves, (because that has worked so well in the past), are more NOTHING!

More nothing from the Church, more nothing, and just in case I’m not being clear, more nothing.  Thank God, and I mean that both literally and figuratively, that secular authorities are now starting to do something. (Of course this is after decades of collusion with the Church.)  I’m going to paraphrase something Oprah Winfrey said about if there was a bad apple in her employ. She said that she certainly would see that the person in question would get help but she would no longer employ them.  One of the reasons that it seems profound is that is the exact opposite of what has been adopted by the men of the Church.

The Wilmington Diocesan news paper has a tiny section on the front page along with a tiny picture of the bishops at their meeting in Baltimore with a blurb: Bishops ‘bring sense of urgency’ to Baltimore, then it directs you to page 7. The issue is only 12 pages and the 12th page is an advertisement for hospice. The fact that the paper decided to  print that the bishops have a sense of urgency now in 2019 belies their lack of urgency in 2002.

What is making them all-of- a-sudden have a sense of urgency?  Could it be early morning raids on chanceries across the country…allegations that some bishops are not handing over to the authorities ALL the names of perpetrators and alleged perpetrators of sexual abuse…the false notion that any sex with a priest could be consensual despite the disparity in power involved…and lastly…bishops policing themselves. Could the urgency have to do with possible prison time?

The entirety of Theodore McCarrick’s debauchery caused his own demise in the Church…after many, many years and many, many protectors.  And what happened next?  NOTHING, unless you consider inertia something. Victims of predators, all predators, suffer for life. The residual trauma is always present. It is akin to original sin washed away at baptism, the effects of original sin is still there. That’s why we sin. The effects of abuse are always present. That is why we don’t trust others. And then the Church reinforces that mistrust by their actions and inaction.

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Everything right now is calm in the Church…well…relatively calm.

Calm. Everything right now is calm in the Church…well…relatively calm.  Just to remind everyone that this is a blog that is specifically about the sexual abuse in the Church and how incompetently and really un-Christian/Catholic it was, and is, being handled.  Yes there are individual priests who have not abused and are very good and holy men but they are not the subject material for this blog.

A few of the things that are said to me that really…well…disgust me are people, (some are priests and bishops), who say they understand then really demonstrate by their actions  and their words that they are clueless. Another thing that I find disturbing is that people just want this to somehow magically go away…and not be talked about. Ain’t happenin.

If the priests, bishops, cardinals and even the pope really do understand this issue like they say that they do then why is this still a problem? When did the Boston Archdiocese crap come to light? How many years has it been? And look, nothing is substantially better. Bishops are still asked to police themselves and their own priests…and we all know how great that worked out.

There is a fear at calling it what it has been, (at least for the most part), as a homosexual problem.  Those prelates who say, Oh no, it’s a sin of opportunity, (notice how it is not called a crime), did the abuse of girls who serve at the alter spike?  Or, (and this is mindboggling to me), it is blamed on clericalism. What?  That doesn’t even make sense.

No matter what the reason for the sexual abuse is, priests are celibate and we are all, every Catholic, every person, called to be chaste.  It is not easy sometimes but it is not impossible. And chastity should never be violated with those who are underage. As for those devils or just plane stupid people who are constantly shoving down our throats about consensual sex…it is NEVER consensual when there is a power differential.   That standard applies to everyone not just prelates.

Priests who have a lover who are adults, male or female, or other priests and living a double life are another and different subject. That issue should not be allowed to muddy the waters of abusing minors or abusing power. They are separate but parallel issues. A   fall with another adult and not living a double life is yet a different issue

You reap what you sew. Last summer has been dubbed the summer of shame. This summer the moniker could be the summer of our discontent. Keep Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament as your focus.  He will help you be content, not accepting of this, but content.

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