Plagued by thoughts not of God

On Feb 23, 2018 2:02 AM, (I’m going to call her Svetlana), wrote:

When we talked, you wondered why I’m plagued by suicidal thoughts. The pain caused by Fr Jared and then the Chancery is never acknowledged.  Never addressed.  

No one in the Catholic Church is interested in truth or justice.
Then you all wonder why victims walk away.  The hypocrisy is too much to take.
No one is interested in healing. Just in making the problem “go away.”
That’s what pisses the Chancery off the most. I haven’t gone away.
How can they call me a Church hater, and all the other scapegoating names/accusations, if I won’t walk away?
There’s nothing Christ like in the situation.
No effort for healing by the Chancery.
Priests who see what’s happening and do nothing. “Maybe it will get better on its own if we just ignore the real issue,” seems to be the thinking.
And if I died, you’ll all wring your hands. “Gee, it’s a shame. If only there was something we could of done.”
Why is the suicide rate so high among victims?
I don’t believe that this is what Christ wants. Or condones. Especially by his Church.
Until the Church addresses true healing,  claiming itself a leader in how abuse cases are handled is total crap.
Wow! Another survivor of abuse… Such sobering words. It is sad thought to realize “I”, or “WE”, are not alone in our suffering due to inaction.  It makes you wonder why is it so hard to implement the words and attitude of God? Abuse, and more and different kinds of abuse, heaped on the suffering are not from God.  And we perpetually suffer.


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This is non-clergy sexual assault

“His left hand reaches around grabs my ass cheek, and one of his fingers touches me in the taint. And he starts moving it around. I felt ill. I felt like a little kid. I felt like there was a ball in my throat. I thought I was going to cry.” Brendan Fraser on his experience of sexual assault.

And it happened when he was already an adult and also married.  No it wasn’t a priest. He goes on to talk about the depression that overwhelmed him for years…and he was an adult…and married…  “I felt like a little kid.”, so how do you think little kids feel?

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Pope lies?

Let me start out by saying that Pope Francis isn’t my favorite so anything I may say against him must be taken with a grain of salt.

That said a letter about sexual misconduct by now Bishop Juan Barros and “Rev” Fernando Kardima being hand delivered to the pontiff by Sean Cardinal O’Malley could have been misplaced.  I was not there so can only speculate.  I imagine that the pope’s secretary was with him.  The letter could not have been read at that very second.  It was probably handed over to the secretary who put it somewhere.  Where?  So it is feasible that Pope Francis never read it.  It’s also feasible that the secretary read it then trashed it for his own reasons.

Now for the grain of salt… For the pontiff to actually lie about something that has been so devastating to the Universal Church does not bode well for him as a person, priest or pontiff. Because of the seriousness of the issue it is not akin to saying, “No, those pants don’t make you look fat.” when they actually do.  Saying that there is no proof or complaints against Bishop Juan Barros when there actually is proof or a complaint is disingenuous, yes a lie. Of course it is not a lie if you never read or got the letter.

However this development does not in anyway excuse the pontiff’s remark in Chili about Bishop Barros and the calumny charge leveled at those abused. It was not a, “merciful”, remark by the pope so makes him seem like a phony and it further hurt victims and then further angered them.

How long has this priest sexual scandal been going on now?  The Church can not make miss-step after miss-step and expect healing.  All the talk in the world about immigration and climate change, (actually not even Catholic issues), will not hide the fact that some priests molested kids and the Universal Church is still making excuses, lying and dragging her feet instead of trying to rectify the pain that this has caused world wide.

So, what is the answer? To be better informed about this issue, to be genuinely sorry because words are cheap, to start making bishops accountable and to cease saying bonehead things regarding this issue.

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Pope Francis apologizes for his vile words in Chile to those affected by priest sexual abuse

Once the bell is rung it cannot be un-rung.

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Another miss-step by Pope Francis regarding priest sexual abuse

I fear.  Should I fear? Should I be very afraid?  Pope Francis must know that he sets the attitudes of others in the hierarchy of the Church concerning the treatment of the victims of clergy sexual abuse. In Chile he was vicious, unnecessarily cruel in his words regarding accusers of Bishop Barros covering up abuse by those abused by Fr. Karadima. Calumny, really.  Saying accusers who had been found to be credible in their accusations of Fr. Karadima who say Barros watched and then covered up, calling them liars and calling them calumnious…wow.  According to Merriam Webster on-line dictionary “calumny the act of uttering false charges or misrepresentations maliciously calculated to harm another’s reputation”.  Remember the abuse charges were found to be credible.  Was the response by Pope Francis loving…NO! Merciful…NO! Compassionate, Understanding, Empathetic…NO, NO and NO again!  And that really does frighten me.

Let’s face facts, no abuse by priests is ever handled well by the Church. Sexual abuse hasn’t even been handled consistently by the Church at this time or by this pontiff.  What is that saying to bishops, priests and laypeople around the world?  It signals that those who have endured abuse, and their loved ones, do not matter. Their pain does not matter. The difficulties that they have succumbed to or overcome do not matter.

Well into this scandal I have been at gatherings of priests who still say that the victims are only in this for the money and that they are probably not even telling the truth.  Where is my money then?  Why would a victim put themselves through this, being called liars, being called people guilty of calumny, people who just want money?  At this same conference the bishop was blaming journalist.  Journalists are a lot of things but they were not the ones covering up the crime and sin that is sexual abuse.

I hope other victims of the Church, (the sexually abused, their families and loved ones, the ongoing cover-up, evil and hurtful words by the pontiff and other bishops, priests and laypeople), cling to God.  God gives us the truth in this world of lies.  Cling to Him and fear not.


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Cardinal Law’s death

It has been a while since former Boston Archbishop Bernard Cardinal Law passed over the threshold of the corporeal world into eternity.  Heaven? Hell? What exactly did he know?  Was he sorry for the victimization of children in his archdiocese?  We will never know…but God does…

That leads me to another question. Does the current crop of bishops and their sycophants believe in the eschaton, the four last things, death, judgement, heaven or hell? Doesn’t that bother them?  I’m not just talking of the bishops in the USA but bishops all over the world.

Sadly the way in which the clergy sexual abuse scandal was handled and continues to be handled  is representative of the way all things, (how shall I put this), distasteful are handled. First there is silence, then denial and threats, then blame, then vague promises that are occasionally kept, ending with silence.  And as per-usual there are many innocent persons hurt along the way.

Do you know how hard, sometimes unbearably hard, it is to work in an atmosphere where right is considered wrong and wrong is considered right, to work for people in the Church who are weak and or deceitful, people who think it is okay to bully the laity and clergy alike, to lie and threaten?  It can be exasperating as well as exhausting.

I have an idea, it’s pretty radical and you may want to sit down before reading any further; follow the rules of Jesus.  What a concept.  In the case of the clergy sexual abuse scandal priests should be living celibate lives, prayerful lives.  Weakness, sin and concupiscence are a part of us so are a part of life.  That’s not an excuse to act upon them.  We are better than that, we have been redeemed.  We are made in the image and likeness of God and are children of God. All of us need to start living like that.  That is the only way we will triumph over sexual abuse, bullying, bad leadership…sin. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever, don’t be carried away by all kinds of strange teaching.

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Church’s glacial movement regarding abuse.

This was my blog title on 07/07/2014

Francis pledged `’not to tolerate harm done to a minor by any individual, whether a cleric or not,” and promised that bishops `’will be held accountable.”
Posted on July 7, 2014

Still waiting.

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