I have said and I freely admit that there are times that I am slow on the up-take.  Then God, I hope it is God, gifts me with clarity.  This will all come together.  I have had some experiences with other priests and one bishop, (not mine), where it comes across, at lest to me, that the salvation of souls is not their priority. Let me explain the latest manifestation of what has led me to that conclusion. A letter had been sent about a priest and I was one of 34 people cc:’d.  The letter was seven pages long.  I only looked at the first page.  The writer started out with an incorrect and diabolical statement.  Immediately my reaction was, ‘You need to be corrected because you are endangering your immortal soul.’   I did respond.  I didn’t write a letter, maybe I should do that, I did take the Catechism of the Catholic Church and copied the abortion section.  I did this because the letter stated that this particular priest needs to become, “aware”, of the teaching of morality in the Catholic Church.  The letter went on to sing the praises of the Democratic Party and condemn the Republican Party.  (For the record I’m neither.) WOW!

It started me thinking, are there going to be other responses from any of the 34? I know of one priest who got a copy and is not going to respond. I wondered how many others are going to keep silent.  Then it dawned on me that this is what happened and is still happening with respect to the clergy sex abuse crises. No one says anything because there is zero care about the state of anyone’s immortal souls. WOW!

Shouldn’t we care about others as well as ourselves getting into heaven? Shouldn’t we care that someone is in grave error?  Isn’t it the job of all baptized Catholics to get to heaven and to try to help others to get to heaven?

The person who wrote this letter could not be any wronger about the moral teaching of the Church and infanticide and abortion pushed by the Party of Death.  The men of the Church couldn’t be any wronger about how they are dealing with the clergy sexual abuse crises.

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As the disco song by Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer proclaims: Enough is enough.

As the disco song sung by Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer proclaims: Enough is enough. First let’s start with a truth of the Catholic Church; NOT EVERYONE IS SAVED. I do not think for one second I am automatically going to heaven. But I won’t be going to hell over this dreadful clergy sexual abuse crises. (Maybe something else.) Who will????? Not to sit in judgement of others but I really do think that all the clerics and laypeople who have had a hand in prolonging this terrible and unjust scandal are on the fast track to eternal suffering.

I also believe it is worse to say something will be done and then nothing is done. (One example would be Rome.) This could have and should have been  dealt with even before it became public.  You don’t have to be the sharpest tool in the shed to know that a person, in this case priests, sexually acting out is bad.  And yet there are prelates who pretend, and it is pretending, that they had no idea that this was unacceptable behavior. I put therapists who colluded with bishops on the same fast train to damnation.

One of the things that I have heard said or has been actually said to me is the fact that the Boy Scouts of America, for example, have a worse % of molestations than the priesthood.  Apples and oranges.  Priests are supposed to be held to the highest standard in light of what they purport to believe so even if the % for the Boy Scout molestations is higher ours seem more toxic. I would have to consult a therapist about that…victimization is destructive no matter who does it.

How is anyone supposed to trust a hierarchy that lies at every turn? And they have lied, remember Mr. McCarrick formerly Theodore Cardinal McCarrick and Donald Cardinal Wuerl  just to name two. They are legion. Luckily it isn’t about them it is about God.  Then you have the unwashed masses who come out in support of priest molesters because they cannot believe such a good and holy priest did such a thing.  My answer to that is you obviously did not know the man so…shut up.

Let me be the first to acknowledge that there are some false accusations but they are miniscule and I will, and have, supported both priests and laity who have emerged from this scandal after being found not guiltily.

I am very aware that I am not the brightest bulb in the marque nor am I the dimmest.  I will say that I managed to get ordained in spite of the millstone around my neck that is being molested by a priest, not that it was without struggle. I also have managed to stay in the priesthood in spite of working for my abuser. (That would be the Church.)

Enough is enough! Maybe we as a Church are supposed to give up our assets as justice dictates. Maybe we are to be a smaller yet more faithful Church. And here is a thought that is really out there, (sarcasm).  Let’s let God lead. Man has just mucked it up.



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What is the meaning of this new virus, if there is a meaning?

Okay, what is the meaning of this new virus, if there is a meaning? Is God using this virus for his own purposes?  Is God mad at humanity? He should be mad.  Look at the state of the world. Look at the state of the Church. The abortion of children in the womb, letting viable children who have survived abortion to die, euthanasia, thousands of other disrespectful acts toward life and towards God.  And then of course is the never ending, (which is a scandal in and of itself.), is the scandal of sexual abuse and homosexual clergy not living chaste lives, in the Church.

If we all die of this virus, (and we probably won’t), the scandal would cease to be…but it won’t cease to be will it. There was a cynical line in ‘The Terminator‘; “In a hundred years who’s gonna care.” In the case of the Church’s awful handling of this dark episode in Catholic History I hope that line is not true. People not only need to remember this scandal they need to do something to rectify this shame and to never let it be forgotten.  People should be mad.  People should have been mad in 2003.

God help us all.

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The raped and abused by clergy, are they a papal concern that would merit money from the Peter’s Pence collection?

Peter’s Pence has been used to invest in real estate. Peter’s Pence has been used to invest in a movie. Peter’s Pence has been used to fill financial gaps in running the Vatican. A reported 10% has been used for the ‘poor’.  Poor being a relative term.  Here is an idea and I’m just spit balling here, do the poor in Spirit qualify?  How about the raped and abused by clergy, are they a papal concern that would merit money from the Peter’s Pence collection? How about the plethora of people who have left the Church because of the raped and abused by clergy and the way it has not been handled by the men of the Church? Everyone and everything but the people who hurt seem to quallify.

A close friend of mine teaches English Literature at a local university.  She had her students read, “Dr. Faustus“, the students did not like it because, most of them do not believe in God. (At least that is what they say.) So why is the Church chasing people who do believe in God away by:

1. Not acting in a godly fashion.                                                                                                           or                                                                                                                                                               2. Acting swiftly to fix and NOT hide the problem.

So many of the younger generation is already lost to the Church. So many of their parents have been lost by poor catechesis. Scandal after scandal does not help the cause of the Church and it most definitely does not encourage a belief in God. So what is the answer???                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            FIX IT!  (Shouted at the top of my lungs.)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Get you shit in a pile.  Get rid of the thieves. Get rid of the sexually active. Get rid of the non-believers. Stop trying to protect your own ass’. Trust in God.

I’m so tired of writing the same things over and over. I shouldn’t have to.  


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Mercy? Love? The pope has revealed himself as a fraud and a liar

First I must get this off my chest. The champion of mercy and love, Pope Francis, actually slapped a woman.  Mercy? Love? Not really.  A lot of excuses have been made for the pope’s behavior but the bottom line is that anyone who acts in such a way does not have real mercy or love it their heart.  He has exposed himself to the world as the fraud that he is.

There have been many people that I’ve come across in the daily living out of my priesthood who I wanted to slap but I did not.  I do not believe for one moment that I posses real mercy or love it my heart, although I want too, and pray too, but I do have some semblance of self-control. (At least I have had it thus far in my priesthood.)

Where does this all lead, besides the pope’s revealing himself as a fraud and a liar? (He is a bishop so what should we expect?  To my chagrin I’ve become so cynical.) It leads to all of his pretty words about zero tolerance for clergy who sexually abuse and all of his love and concern for the victims of these priests, (Remember bishops & cardinals are priests.), are smoke dissipating in space and time.

As a priest myself I find that devastating.  As a victim I find that infuriating.  Thank God, literally, for individuals in the press who have made a huge stink about the godless acts of the Bransfields, McCarricks, and Wurels in our midst. Thank God, literally, for the attorneys general who are investigating these issues and investigating all involved in the cover-up since the Church isn’t investigating it or is not able to investigating itself.  The sad actuality is that many diocese are fighting against any and all investigations.

This whole issue has morphed into an enormous black hole that has sucked in the people who sit in the pews. The faithful are now also victims of the lying liars, the sexually active priests, the drug takers and the thieves.  Some of them do not even try to hide themselves behind a thin veneer of holiness or even religiosity any longer.  Lucky for us that we have a light that cannot be extinguished or sucked in by any black hole. That light is Christ.  As difficult as it sometimes is, Christ is who we need to cling to…not man or men in robes…Christ.

Reports from the media point to a measurable drop in donations to the Church.  That should get the attention of men in high places.  The love of money seems to be true love of Church authorities and not the love of God. One begins to question if they even believe in God.  That thought should not have ever entered any of our minds but it has because we see how they act and react. How can you be a believer and be a sexually active priests, a drug takers and a thief? Pray, pray, pray, for that is all we have, (except for money of course), and that is all we need.  God help us.  God help all involved.





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“Mercy”, is just a word to the Church

Ask me how dreadfully tired I am about hearing the Catholic Church via bishops and the pope talk about mercy. They have demonstrated that to them, as far as victims of clergy abuse go, it is only a word. Do I believe God is merciful? YES! Do I believe that God’s mercy has been extended to the victims of clergy sexual abuse by the Church? NO I DO NOT!

If I could say it in Spanish so that the pope could understand me, I would tell him; : “Fix the damn problem. Fix the shattered lives of victims. Fix the shattered lives of victims families. Fix the shattered lives of the faithful and stop making a mockery of God’s mercy.  Also stop protecting criminals.” Even in English most of the bishops in the USA do not understand.

The bishops, cardinals and the even the pope are making a mockery of the mercy of God. God will not be mocked. The eschaton, the four last things; death, judgement, heaven, or hell will not go well for these men unless they take this seriously. Empty words are just that empty and the men of the Church need to stop betraying the word mercy by only applying it to each others crimes. They need to use it for abuse victims too.

I’m also sick of one of the reasons for the bishops world-wide being given a justification for this rubbish. No one that I knew in the seminary with me, was actively homosexual or heterosexual. So to find such a thing out now only means that I did not really know them. No one I knew was having sexual relations with teenage boys. If they were I either did not know it or I was too obtuse to see. Either way they would not be who I thought they were or who I thought I knew.

I do not actually know that she said this, but Sharon Stone is given credit for it. Talking about show business it is reported she said, “You can only sleep your way to the middle.” Maybe in the Church you can sleep your way higher than the middle. And maybe that is part of the problem.

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heresy, the pope, abuse crises & cover-up

How can anyone expect the Catholic Church to deal with all the tentacles of abuse and cover-up when we have a pope who is guilty of heresy in the Vatican garden with the odd tree/spirit worship and guilty of daemon worship with the whole Pachamama goddess statues in Roman Catholic Churches? He is either very dim or diabolical himself.

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Bishop Bransfield, Bishop Malone of Buffalo, the Delaware apostate, ex-priest, on the Diocesan Marriage Tribunal, all of the clerical support, including bishops, of the gay agenda which clearly flies in the face of the teaching of Catholicism

There is so much going on right now; the Bishop Bransfield case in West Virginia, Bishop Richard Malone of Buffalo, NY and the slow collapse of the diocese, the Delaware apostate, ex-priest, on the Diocesan Marriage Tribunal, not to mention all of the clerical support, including bishops, of the gay agenda which clearly flies in the face of the teaching of Catholicism.  One has to ask what is going on? If the good bishops would speak up for God when the bad bishops are spewing heresy, and the week bishops would step up as men of God things might get better.

In the past I did not believe that there were bishops and priests who did not believe in God. Why then choose this life? It is not an easy life. Maybe it is easy if you do not believe.  I do believe, and I do believe that there are some men in the clerical ranks today who do not believe in God.  How could they say that they believe in God and do what they do?  How could they believe in God and promote what they promote? Mr. Theodore McCarrick, obviously, was never really Roman Catholic.  Mr. Theodor McCarrick could not have believed that there would be a final judgment by God…yet he made it to the rank of Cardinal Archbishop.  How?  How many others are there? Will their fall be just as spectacular?  How much more will the truly faithful have to endure?

I constantly tell parishioners to cling to Jesus. I constantly tell myself the same thing.  Sometimes it is a heavy yoke. I’ll take the light yoke any time now God.  But I do have the light of truth. I try to follow the light of truth. God is truth. We need to follow God.


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Priest abuse hitting close to home

In March an allegation was brought forth against a diocese priest of sexual abuse 38 years ago. Another allegation in a different local also came to light. So there are two different investigations in two different jurisdictions. Because the first allegation was 38 years ago I have had at least one person say to me that they do not believe the allegation.  Of course everyone is innocent until proven guilty.  That said I told her that it was 22 years before I came forward.  I did not tell her that circumstances forced me to come forward before I was ready and it was another five years before I was ready to deal with it in therapy.

I really don’t know this priest and I really don’t know how he was as a priest/pastor to congregants or as a boss. That said, 38 years is really not that long when you factor in the shame and stigma of being abused. (I wonder if he was waiting for his parents to die), I have worked with older women who first had abortions in 1973 when it became legal.  They bought into the lie that it was easy and the right thing to do. They kept their shame secret since then.

As someone who has suffered clerical sexual abuse when I was informed by the diocese of this case, all priests were e-mailed, the first thought I had was, this will never end…then I felt sad for the alleged victim, the priest and for me. I try very hard not to get into the, ‘poor me’, mindset and when I realize that I have indeed gone there I try mightily to get out of it. (Even after all this time I get sucked into that destructive mindset.)  That is just one of the things that makes sexual abuse, in fact all abuse, so insidious.  The effects of the abuse are never really gone.

Some of the people that are in the parish of the accused priest are unhappy with the bishop.  They see his actions as throwing this priest under the bus.  What was he supposed to do? He has his own skeletons in the closet, one of them became a Netflix miniseries, not doing anything would be imprudent on his part…just another skeleton to deal with.

And so it goes…another priest accused, if abuse took place, another person scared, another skeleton exposed and more agita for those of us who have struggled with the effects of our own abuse. Around and around and around it goes…

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Keep your mouth shut: advice given by a priest in reference to a predator priest.

First allow me to preface this with a true story. When I was a seminarian studying for the priesthood in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, I reported a priest for inappropriate behavior towards myself and another seminarian. When I took this back to the powers that be at the seminary it was suggested that this was a good time for me to keep my mouth shut. This episode happened before the Attorney General’s Grand Jury Report had been released. Meanwhile the priest that I turned in was outed as the first sexual predator in the archdiocese. He was eventually defrocked, and latter passed away. Was I protected? No. Did anything happen to him after my stepping forward? No. How about me? Well I’m not a priest of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia.

Men and women who keep their heads in the sand like ostriches concerning this issue…well…I can’t think of a nice way to put it. Those men and women are a huge part of the problem, not admitting that presently there is a problem in the Church caused by homosexual predator priests and other priests and bishops covering up for them. I will never forget the words spoken to me that it would be a good time for me to keep my mouth shut. (It was a threat that came to fruition.)

I thank God, (literally), for the ability to keep my faith and pursue my vocation to the priesthood despite numerous setbacks. (I was untouchable to other diocese in the immediate aftermath, even this one.) Five years later Wilmington did accept me.
I am here to tell you that it doesn’t matter how long it takes for a person to come forward after they have been sexually abused by a priest. It doesn’t matter that the priest may be dead. What does matter is the havoc that abusive priests caused in the lives of their victims. What matters is that children and post-pubescent boys who were abused meant nothing to most bishops. Alas, a majority of children and young adults who survived these demon priests have left the Church. A lot of other people have also left because of the hypocrisy of this scandal.

It is lucky that we are blessed by God with the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. That is what we need to cling to. That is what will get us through this.

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