Bishops as white knights…please.

A moment of clarity happened for me. It doesn’t happen nearly enough but when it does I am overwhelmed. When people pleasers are abused and they are in recovery they desperately, painfully try to please those in authority over them even though they have deep trust issues.

I’m going to use a friend of mine, without her permission, as an example. Then of course I will use my own horrible, but getting better, life. Over and over again my friend, who is very orthodox, keeps desperately trying to befriend her bishop. one of the reasons for this is to reverse the wrong perception that her diocese has of her after she turned in a priest who mentally and spiritually abused her. Of course since the modus operandi of the Church is to lie, and of course that is what happened, she is screwed with the new bishop. She needs, or think she does, the chanceries approval for the start of a new ministry. I say do an end around, if God wants it it will happen. This woman would also like an apology for all the lies and slanders hurled at her by several priests. The likelihood of that happening are pretty slim.

She has engaged the new bishop on several fronts. They have been successful because they really have nothing to do with getting an apology from the diocese or a new ministry. When those topics are broached the bishop, like so many other bishops, is not only weak but an ass not caring one whit about the salvation of her soul. She cannot understand why he does not seem to care about his own soul or the souls of the other people involved let alone her’s. This is my cynicism talking but I say he is a lost cause. Pray for him and leave him to God.

My story is a little different since I am a priest and was sexually abused by a priest. Our last bishop was and still is an ass. I, being naive, wanted desperately to trust him. Although it is hard for those of us who have been abused to trust those in authority we want too. It is akin to believing in a white knight who is going to save us. I am just going to share one issue but the are legion. Somehow I thought that being an orthodox priest who believes in the truth and so speaks the truth I would score points. When you are dealing with a deceitful ass truth does not matter.

I gave a homily about life issues. A woman left. She later wrote me a letter and signed it but did not put down a return address. Not being an idiot I was able to find her address. I wrote her back. She was angry as a hornet that I got her address. It is my humble opinion since she does not believe in life issues she should leave the Church. A friend of mine pulled her up on Facebook to show me what she looked like. But I digress.

(I had to take a break.) The priest personnel director, also an ass, came to berate me. I took none of it. He held up a copy of the letter I sent and said its the most hateful thing he has ever read. I replied by saying, ‘Your’e such a liar.’ Needless to say he was not expecting that and had no idea what to say. The meeting degenerated into a shouting match. Then he left.

How did he get a copy of the letter I sent, you ask? I sent a copy to the bishop. Why? A desire for praise for my standing up for the truth. Instead of a white knight I got a dark lord. That deceitful bishop is gone. AMEN! That deceitful priest personnel director is also gone. Double AMEN!

As for the new bishop…he does not seem like a bad guy and my interaction with him has been positive. Time will tell. White knights are few and far between. And they do not seem to be in the ranks of the bishops.

About follow1in3

I am a Roman Catholic priest ordained for the Diocese of Wilmington, DE who is also a victim of clergy sexual abuse. I am often angered by the insensitiviy and hostility of other clergy, the hierarchy and the so-called people-of-God. If clergy, bishops included, really and truly understood abuse, (any kind of abuse), I would not feel the need to blog on occasion. It is very frustraing.
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