Naked in the locker room

I’ve done this once and poof it went away. So I’ll try again.

One of the things I do, not only as a Catholic Christian but more importantly as a priest, is pray. Sometimes God gives me an insight into present behavior based on my past. Recently that has happened. Some years ago I was at the gym and camped out in the locker room was a teenager. It disturbed my peace. I figured he was gay and scoping out naked men. Digging deeper as to why I was effected the way I was I came up with this; he was objectifying me. I had become an object. Certainly I did not want to be one of his masturbatory fantasies. I don’t even know if that is what it was about. All I do know is that his presence made me uncomfortable.

Fastbackward, as a teen I was once again naked in a locker room, (sometimes you encounter naked people in locker rooms), and I once again became an object. I did not know that I became an object. A naked object for a priest.

But of course this effected me in another way too. I was powerless. My molester had the power in the relationship. Subsequently I do not take well to people who have power especially if it is over me. There are trust issues too. And if you are deceitful or manipulative I trust you even less.

Since having this wonderful revelation about objectifying others even when I did not like it myself I am Patiently waiting for it to go from my intellect into my heart so I stop doing it also.

About follow1in3

I am a Roman Catholic priest ordained for the Diocese of Wilmington, DE who is also a victim of clergy sexual abuse. I am often angered by the insensitiviy and hostility of other clergy, the hierarchy and the so-called people-of-God. If clergy, bishops included, really and truly understood abuse, (any kind of abuse), I would not feel the need to blog on occasion. It is very frustraing.
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