Hmmm, I think I’m a little depressed. It’s not that I feel depressed because I don’t. But I have observed one of the signs. In the past two days I have spent money pretty much indiscriminately. I did pick up some gifts for birthdays and for Christmas but I clearly see that is a rationalization. Spending is my M.O.
So what is up? It could be the death of Artemus. It could be that the mother of a friend of mine is dying of cancer. It could be that a friend in Wisconsin has had an unresolved issue with abuse by a priest, (not sexual), that happened 10 years ago. The issue could easily be remedied. It could be that her experience with the church reminds me of the whole sex abuse nightmare that has engulphed us all. Inertia is the Church’s M.O. And then, of course, there is all of the above.
My strategy is to ride it out. I will be the first to admit that I haven’t relied 100% on God, I have done significantly better than I have in the past but it hasn’t been 100%. It needs to be 100%. I pray that I rely on God 100%. We all need to rely on God 100%.